The IVF two week wait: How to cope with the waiting, the anxiety and overthinking.
By Gordon Mullins, Fertility Acupuncturist, Meditation Teacher & Founder of Mindful IVF
There is a strange moment after embryo transfer. For weeks, IVF has been about doing.
The Appointments, the Injections, the scans, all the phone calls, your embryo transfer.
And then suddenly, nothing left for you to do, but wait.
Welcome to your IVF two week wait. After more than 23 years working with women going through fertility treatment, I have seen how crazy this part can be. It isn’t necessarily the physical side that’s hardest. It’s the absolute uncertainty.
You can feel hopeful at 9am, convinced it hasn’t worked by lunchtime, optimistic again that evening and lying awake at 3am analysing a sensation in your abdomen that you hadn’t noticed six hours earlier. And thats for every day of the two week wait.
If this sounds familiar, you’re experiencing something many people call the worst two weeks of their lives.
And that’s what I want to help you with. Not by promising everything will be okay. Not by telling you to stay positive.
And definitely not suggesting you can meditate your way to a positive pregnancy test. Instead, let’s talk about how you can take care of yourself while you wait.
Despite the name, your clinic will more than likely schedule your pregnancy test later than 14 days after transfer, depending on your treatment and the type of embryo transferred.
Why Is the IVF Two-Week Wait So Difficult?
I think one of the biggest reasons is the sudden loss of control. During your stimulation, you have some control.
Take this medication. Attend this scan. Inject at this time.
Then you reach embryo transfer. And your mind says:
Okay, what do I do now?
And thats where the wonderful mind decides to do some little crazy things to you.
As we know well, the human mind isn’t particularly good at uncertainty.
It always wants answers. So it does what it does best, it starts looking for them.
The symptom checking begins, you notice a cramp. Is that implantation?
Your breasts feel different, Is that pregnancy or my period coming?
You don’t feel anything. Is that bad? And so goes on the journey through every single feeling, sensation….
And then suddenly it’s midnight and you’ve read 14 forum discussions involving women whose treatment, embryos, medication and medical history are completely different from yours. Was their treatment strategy better?
Its really important to remember, your feelings don’t determine the outcome of your IVF cycle. Really important to remember this.
You do not have to remain calm for your embryo. You don’t have to think positively every day. You don’t have to visualise implantation perfectly.
And having a difficult day does not mean you’ve ruined anything. This is incredibly important.
Because I’ve seen women become anxious about being anxious. Now there are two problems.
The original anxiety. And anxiety about the anxiety.
Meditation isn’t about eliminating every difficult thought.
It’s about learning that you don’t have to follow every thought wherever it wants to take you.
Meditation during the IVF two week wait
This is one of the reasons I created Mindful IVF.
For years in my fertility practice, I watched women leave embryo transfer and enter this strange period of waiting.
Their medical treatment continued under their clinic.But emotionally, many felt they were suddenly on their own.
Meditation can give you somewhere to return to. Not to make the embryo implant.Not to guarantee pregnancy.
But to give your mind and body a few minutes where they don’t have to solve IVF.
That’s very different. For five minutes, there is nothing to predict. Nothing to Google. Nothing to analyse.
Just this breath. And then the next one.
Try this when your mind starts racing
Stop for a moment. Put your phone down. Feel your feet against the floor.
Take a comfortable breath in. And slowly breathe out.
Again.
Don’t force the breath. Simply notice it. Now notice what your mind is doing.
Breathe. Then remind yourself: I don’t know the outcome today.
And that’s difficult.
Maybe you need sleep. Maybe you need to talk. Maybe you need to cry.
Maybe you need five minutes of meditation. Take care of the day you’re actually living.
Tomorrow can wait until tomorrow.
Edited to here…..
7 Things That Can Help During the IVF Two-Week Wait
1. Stop trying to feel positive all the time
You can hope this works and simultaneously be terrified that it won’t.
Those two feelings can exist together. IVF isn’t an exam in positive thinking.
Give yourself permission to have ordinary human emotions.
2. Put boundaries around Google
This can make an enormous difference.
If you find yourself repeatedly searching for symptoms, consider creating a rule.
Perhaps you only look up medical questions once during the day.
Or, better still, write genuine medical questions down and ask your fertility clinic rather than searching forums.
The internet can provide information. It cannot tell you whether your particular embryo has implanted.
3. Be careful with symptom spotting
This is incredibly tempting.
But symptoms during the two-week wait can be difficult to interpret, particularly when fertility medications are involved.
Having symptoms isn’t a pregnancy test. And having no symptoms isn’t a pregnancy test either.
If you’re concerned about symptoms or medication side effects, always contact your fertility clinic.
4. Create a daily anchor
Choose something small that happens every day. A morning walk.
Five minutes of meditation. A cup of tea without your phone.
Ten minutes outside. It doesn’t have to be profound.
Your life can become completely organised around IVF. A daily anchor reminds you:
You are still a person here living a life.
5. Decide how you want to handle pregnancy testing
Some people want to test early. Others know that seeing and interpreting tests repeatedly will make the wait considerably harder.
Your fertility clinic will give you instructions about when and how your pregnancy should be tested.
Follow their medical guidance.
6. Protect your sleep
The middle of the night is a terrible time to solve IVF.
Everything feels bigger at 3am. If your mind starts racing, don’t make your mission:
I MUST sleep. Make it, I’m going to rest.
Take the pressure away.
Listen to a sleep meditation.
Notice your breathing.
Allow your body to lie there without demanding anything from it. Sleep may follow.
7. Come Back to Today
This is perhaps the biggest practice of all. IVF constantly pulls us into the future.
Will it implant?* Will the test be positive?*
Your beautiful mind can travel months into the future in seconds. Bring it back.
What If I Can’t Stop Thinking About Whether It Worked? You probably won’t. And that’s okay.
I wouldn’t set that as the goal.
You’re waiting to discover whether something you desperately want has happened.
Of course you’re going to think about it.
Instead, notice when thinking becomes ruminating. There’s a difference between:
I wonder if it worked and spending the next 45 minutes mentally rehearsing every possible outcome.
That’s where meditation becomes useful.
You notice:
I’m doing it again. And come back.
Breath. Body. Room. Present moment.
That’s meditation.
Does Meditation Improve IVF Success?
This deserves a clear answer. Meditation should not be treated as a method of making an embryo implant or guaranteeing a successful IVF cycle.
Your IVF outcome involves biological and medical factors that meditation cannot control.
There is research examining mindfulness interventions during IVF, including their effects on anxiety, sleep, psychological wellbeing and quality of life.
That isn’t why I want you to meditate.
Meditation is for you. For the person going through IVF.
For the person awake at 3am. For the moment before the clinic calls.
For those five minutes when everything feels too much.
A Different Way to Think About the Two-Week Wait. Don’t try to make it the perfect two weeks. Don’t try to be Zen.
Instead:
Take it one day at a time. Some days you’ll feel hopeful. Some days you’ll feel frightened.
Some days you might forget about IVF for three hours and suddenly realise you haven’t thought about your embryo.
IVF Two-Week Wait Meditation With Mindful IVF
Mindful IVF includes guided meditations created specifically for different stages and emotional moments of IVF, including embryo transfer and the two-week wait.
These aren’t generic meditations where you have to translate everything into fertility treatment yourself. They were created around the IVF journey itself.
If you’re currently in your two-week wait, start small.
Three minutes. Five minutes. Headphones on. Phone down. Nothing to accomplish. Nothing to manifest. Nothing to fix.
Just somewhere to come back to when IVF becomes too loud.
Let your doctors care for your embryos. Let us care for you.
IVF Two-Week Wait: Frequently Asked Questions
What is the IVF two-week wait?
The two-week wait is the period between embryo transfer and the pregnancy test used to determine whether treatment has resulted in pregnancy. The actual number of days before testing varies, so follow the schedule given by your fertility clinic.
Is it normal to feel anxious during the IVF two-week wait?
Many people find this one of the most emotionally difficult stages of IVF because there is so much uncertainty and relatively little they can do to determine the outcome.
Can I meditate after embryo transfer?
Meditation is generally a gentle wellbeing practice, but it should complement rather than replace the medical instructions given by your fertility team. A simple seated or lying meditation can provide a quiet space to rest and manage difficult thoughts.
Does stress stop an embryo from implanting?
Don’t blame yourself for feeling stressed or anxious. IVF outcomes are complex, and you should not interpret ordinary emotional stress as meaning you have caused an unsuccessful transfer.
What if I have no symptoms during the two-week wait?
Symptoms alone cannot reliably tell you whether IVF has been successful. Medication can also produce symptoms. Your clinic’s pregnancy test is what matters. Contact your fertility team if you have symptoms that concern you.
How do I stop overthinking during the two-week wait?
Trying to force yourself to stop thinking often makes things worse. Instead, use small interruptions: step away from Google, take a walk, talk to someone you trust, practise slow breathing or spend a few minutes meditating. The aim isn’t to remove every thought but to stop every thought becoming a 30-minute journey.
Mindful IVF provides meditation and emotional wellbeing support and is not a substitute for medical care. Questions about your IVF treatment, medication, symptoms or pregnancy testing should always be discussed with your fertility clinic or healthcare professional.*